Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Semen is not good for contacts.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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