Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
