CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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