I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
