I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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