theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
