North Korea, Best Korea!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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