sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
