he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
