I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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