Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
