The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
