Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
