Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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