and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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