brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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