that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
