worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
