worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
