Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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