the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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