areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Farmville is her only friend.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
