so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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