Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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