It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My penis needs a shock collar
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
