the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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