my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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