Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
