Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she smelled like a LAN party
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
