Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
