i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
