Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
