btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
