yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i've created a new STD.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
