a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
