I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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