dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
