I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
