just tell him i said nine months
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
