I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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