Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
