OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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