He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
