dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
