I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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