Having a random hookup so left but love u
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
