I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I could fuck to npr.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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