carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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