dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
A bitchslap is in order.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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