I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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